Associated Press Headline Roundup

* Crack may be whack, but that doesn't mean you'll do (that much) hard time. At least not as much as some rich cokehead.

* There's something so chilling about the headline "Ice Storm Causes Blackouts, Deaths." Either that or "Ice Storm" could just as easily be replaced with "Crack" (see above) or, say, "Alcohol."

* And I may have dissed on fasting for a cause last week, but fasting for your heart ain't such a bad idea. Nevermind that those participating in the study, Mormons, are also known for their restrictive diets and spending at least two years of their lives walking around all over the world on a mission (or chasing all twelve of their children, for the womenfolk).

* And speaking of Mormon habits, what about playing nice? Mitt Romney announced to the AP today that he plans to run a TV ad against Mike Huckabee, the conservative candidate who just yesterday "stood by" his 1992 statements that AIDS patients should be isolated from society. I'd say shame on Romney for giving in to the negative campaign trap, but I find myself strangely rooting him on.

* Global warming is coming! But I've just gotta take a commercial break to accept this Nobel peace prize. Remember folks, if Kissinger can get one, so can Gore.

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