Hemming and hawing and basically not doing work

I was bored last night, and the prospect of actually doing relevant work on my two final papers just didn't seem interesting following the completion of a final for which I studied altogether too much.

So I took a practice LSAT.

I realize this makes me sound like a really big dork, that in the time I spend procrastinating I play online Scrabble and take diagnostic LSATs, but (and this will make me sound even dorkier) I actually enjoyed the questions. Like, this is what I had hoped my SATs would be like, and yes, it's challenging but not impossible.

I have been told that law school is nothing like the LSATs. And that's good, because I don't much like standardized tests. I thought about grad school but that might require me to take the GRE, and I've heard rumor that there is a math section. I haven't even looked into the possibility that math isn't actually a part of every GRE, that it's only for the relevant subject GREs, but I don't care. I am that afraid of math.

I guess this means I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Yeah, law school seems interesting if anything to be one of those people who walks around judging the 60% of graduates who become lawyers. "Yeah, I went to law school, but I decided not to be the tool of a corporate black hole." In other words, "Yeah, I went to law school, and it was a big waste of money because I didn't want a job that pays me $145,000 to get the boss some coffee." But it seems like a lot of money to blow on general interest, especially because I am picky and would only want to go to the best school possible. I don't know, maybe attending a highly-ranked undergraduate school has made me all high and mighty, but I don't see any point to applying to a school I have no plans to attend.

Then there's theater. I love stage managing. I love the camaraderie of rehearsals and performances and stealthily making a lot of things possible on stage, and I feel like I'm good enough at it (at least with the work ethic) that I can make a relatively stable, if not unusual living.

But since I've been doing it so long I feel like it's my safe bet. I know it's there, I know I can do it and that I would enjoy it, but I don't know if ten years from now I will feel like I settled for the path of least resistance.

So there are my anxieties. I think I am ready to be back in Berkeley, if anything because I know that I do not spend my spare time taking admissions tests for fun.

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