This tragic tale of woe takes place in Temecula, California (misspelled as "Temicula", by the way, in the Editor's note), where a 38-year-old disabled Marine contemplates suicide because the government sucks, or something.
I could not even finish the article, it was that long and oozing with
He passes nights largely sleepless, a zombie shuffling through the bare rooms of his home in sunny California wine country.
I would just like to say, if Temecula is wine country, I am rich and successful and have great marriage prospects and want fourteen children. Wine country is more than 450 miles north of Temecula, thank you. In fact, Temecula is closer to Mexico than it is to wine country, which isn't saying much for Temecula because it is practically in Mexico. You know, a completely different country.
Secondly, wine country is rarely sunny. Any number of cogent adjectives would suffice besides "sunny": foggy, cold, expensive...
Thirdly, why, oh why, does the AP use "largely" to modify "sleepless"? Sure, it's acceptable, and maybe this is more picky than any English major-turned-journalist would be, but doesn't "large" connote something more like extent or "physical girth" instead of suggesting anything like the quality or quantity of one's sleep?
Fourthly, if
Maybe I'm just grumpy from encountering too many reasons to be misanthropic. Maybe I realized it's probably weird that I care so much more about the style than I do the content of that AP article. I do, however, rather enjoy the Halo 3 musical score. Way to be, Marty O'Donnell!
2 comments:
One, keeping in mind that a clinical perspective can frame almost any discussion objectively, your choice of words is quite appropriate. Two, while "largely" may feel awkward to you, it's often been
used synonymous with "mostly" or "generally", as well as for size references.
And since it actually is sunny today..... maybe that
will work as a grump antidote :)
"Often" does not mean "proper" in all circumstances (if they jump off a bridge are you going to, too?), and I have largely understood the goal of Associated Press style--why they care so much, and why they are the journalistic standard of style to the U.S.-- to be to communicate meaning as clearly as possible.
Associating "largely" with "understood" as I did just moments ago is acceptable, because "largely" is modifying a concept of my thought, not a physical quality of my existence (as with "sleepless").
Does that make sense? Am I just being neurotic?
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