Here are some choice favorites from this weekend's bout of reminiscence to days apparently long, long gone (some are funnier than others):
Resolved: The actions of corporations ought to be held to the same moral standards as the actions of individuals.
--"If you negate, you're supporting environmental terrorism, including melting the Antarctic glaciers, increasing cancer among Guatemalans, and supporting sweatshops in Cambodia."
--"The judge is, like, a woman [me] and I'm, like, a man. We're different, but equal. The same is true of corporations and their standards: moral standards are different from legal standards, but pretty much equal since they're both standards."
--"I could outspeak you ten laps even if you had a head start; your spreading doesn't intimidate me."
--"Extend all three arguments [timer beeps] and I win."
--"Moral standards, def: Evolutionary adaptations of prescriptively 'good' behavior that ensures survival."
And my personal favorite, "If the judge has any morality, she'll choose the affirmative."
As it happens, I did, but it was because he was cute (among other things, like, you know, a case).
The whole weekend was kind of disillusioning, because I discovered that either I am, in fact, an old lady, or policy debate is, in fact, as evil as I thought it was. It's probably the former, but I think there's something pretty tangible in the latter, too.
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