Toot, toot!

Hey, I'm like, famous, sort of...at least on a lesser-known website with a small pool of regular bloggers. I'm the first featured blogger this year at ProgressiveU.org, and that's certainly exciting. I'm apologizing here and now, by the way, for the terrible quality of my answers to the questions I wasn't exactly prepared to speak intelligently on. But the part where the moderators wrote about me was Very Nice.

I suppose being featured makes up for not winning the actual scholarship money, but remember- there are still opportunities for you, my adoring fans, to vote for me here. Because I'm that awesome.

Remember how much you want to vote for me?

Indian givers act on 'principle,' abandon all other principles

We declined to host the service- not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle.

That's Rev. Gary Simons, head of the nondenominational High Point Church in Arlington, TX. He canceled a large funeral service for Navy veteran Cecil Howard Sinclair, who died at age 46 after complications following pre-heart transplant surgery. Simons canceled because Sinclair was gay, and he did it "on principle," not out of hatred or discrimination.

Since when is acting on a hateful, discriminatory principle not acting out of hatred or discrimination?

The church originally offered to host the funeral service because Sinclair's brother works there, and then rescinded their offer because they couldn't appear to condone a gay lifestyle, which was evident from the photos the family had provided of his happy, post-Gulf War life.

I'm not entirely sure which is worse: your brother dies and your boss offers to host the service and then changes his mind because the deceased was gay, or the church prioritizes not endorsing certain behavior over acting like benevolent, God-loving creatures.

Water, water, everywhere

Water, like transportation, is one of those other essential things that keeps us alive and is generally considered pretty cool. It's like, a part of us, man. 70 whole percent.

Hippie environmentalist crap aside, Bear's Necessity talks about bottled water, which puts the convenience of carrying water in light plastics in perspective. But what about people's lawns?

In Orem, Utah, a 70 year-old woman was arrested earlier this summer for not watering her lawn for over a year. Yes, arrested.

Interesting, because the San Francisco Chronicle worries that in such an extreme water shortage, people will start getting mad at each other for watering too much or during peak hours.

Obviously these are different states, but let me illustrate just how liberal Utah is with their water.

That's water flowing from a drain, and it does that every day I walk by on my way to work. Sometimes it even floods part of the street. And where does it come from? Locals tell me that their almighty irrigation system pumps water from the nearby mountains and supplies the town, via underground irrigation canals, with lots of verdant nature that would otherwise be arid and even more boring.

A local also told me, in order to relieve my fears about tons of kids in public pools during 107 degree heat, that the water in the aquatic center is dumped and replaced every fifteen minutes. Where does the water go? I have no idea, but if I find out I'll let you know.

So the next time some hippies come yelling at me about pouring out two sips of water left in my convenient plastic bottle, I will tell them they need to take a mission trip to Utah.

Cat fight!

Cindy Sheehan, our least-forgettable overbearing Mom, has moved on from Crawford Ranch eyesore to official politics. Now she's challenging House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for her seat in the US House of Representatives. Sheehan had earlier announced her intention to run for the House if Pelosi didn't try to impeach President Bush by July 23.

I'm all for people doing something about the injustices they perceive in the world. I'm all for people loving their children. But Sheehan has effectively made her son a martyr to her cause, and I'm not totally sure that he would appreciate that. Of course, it's awful that she lost her son, but does every grieving mother of deceased soldiers seek justice by camping out in front of the President's house, or running for political office? Okay, okay, so it only takes one to make a difference, blah blah blah, but what makes someone like Sheehan, and not, say, my mom, decide to challenge the first female Speaker of the House?

Mom, I'm sure you'll disagree with me because you're a mom and I'm not, but I think Sheehan's trying to be Supermom, and she can't do everything.

That said, if she raises enough money, I imagine her pre-existing publicity will probably earn her at least a handful of votes. If not for being crazy, votes will be from those who know she's not too afraid of party politics to shove her beliefs down everyone's throats.

Finally,

now I might be able to qualify for all of those scholarships!

America's Favorite Pastime

Shoving little old ladies to the ground for a baseball?

I guess I'd do the same thing if that baseball were worth millions.